Learn how to make time for yourself when you are a busy mom (and why science says you should). These tips and strategies really work!
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If I asked you if you had enough time for yourself, what would you say?
When the Pew Research Center asked parents this very question, more than half said that they didn't have enough free time. In fact, almost 85% admitted that they feel rushed some, if not all, of the time.
Does that surprise you? It surprised me.
Based on my experience, I expected that number to be even higher.
In my conversations with my friends, in emails from readers, and on social media, I hear the same thing again and again. We don't feel like we have time for ourselves. And feeling this way can make moms feel anxious, alone, and just plain fed up.
So how do we fix it? One of my favorite quotes says it all.
It's as true now as it was when it was written nearly 150 years ago, and I'll bet it is more true than ever for busy moms.
Knowing that we can't find time the question becomes, how to make time for yourself when you're a mom? It may feel impossible, but you can make it happen. And you should make it happen. Here's how.
How to Make Time for Yourself When You're a Mom
Give Yourself Permission
This seems so simple but is probably the hardest step of all. Listen to me, mama. It is OK to take time for you. It is not selfish. It does not make you a bad mom. It doesn't make you a bad wife. It makes you a whole, healthy, human being who understands that self care is necessary.
If you can't stop feeling guilty over taking time for yourself, think about it this way. Which mom is better for your kids? One who is physically present but emotionally drained? Or one who models healthy habits with her own identity outside of "mom"?
Allow yourself to become the latter: a mom who takes care of herself so that she can be the amazing mother and role model she knows she is.
Get Up 15 Minutes Early
We are all guilty of this. We put the kids to bed, then stay up too late ourselves because it's "our time." But I've discovered that taking time for yourself in the morning is actually more beneficial.
Try waking up just 15 minutes earlier each day, and devoting that time to yourself. You can sip a cup of coffee, read a book, do a few minutes of yoga, or take a long hot shower. Whatever you need to feel that you've had some time to do something for yourself.
When you plan for this time at the beginning of the day, you will feel more refreshed and ready to handle the rest of the day, even when you don't get a moment alone until bedtime.
Find Pockets of Time in the Day
You’ve just put dinner in the oven, the kids are doing homework, and you have about 20 minutes until it is time to eat. Use that little pocket of time to do something for yourself.Take advantage of small moments of time throughout the day: carry a book and read in the carpool line instead of mindlessly scrolling on your phone. Take your journal to the doctor's office and write while you wait. Or fit in a quick walk by parking away from the store.
You'll be amazed at how many ways you can make 5 minutes feel like time you enjoy instead of time you waste.
Ask for Help
Moms - you don't have to do everything all the time. There are options for you to find help, even if you're on a limited budget.
If you are struggling to find some quality me time, ask your partner to take over so that you can get some time to yourself. You can ask a trusted mom friend to do a babysitting swap: you watch her kids while she gets time to herself and have her return the favor (my BFF and I do this and it's awesome).
If working out is your idea of me time, find a gym with a childcare center. And during the summer months, find a reliable teenager to come over and watch the kids, even if you stay home and just take a shower or relax with a book.
Schedule Time for Yourself
Don't just plan that you'll do something for yourself "sometime." You need to actually write it down and put it on your calendar. I believe in this so much that I included a section for "me time" in every week of my Mom Life Organized planner.
When you plan your time, you'll be more likely to follow through and make it happen. You'll also feel better about taking the time you need because it has been planned in advance, giving your partner and kids time to get on board - and hopefully make some fun plans for themselves!
Find more tips on how to find time for self-care when you're a busy mama here.
Learn to Let Things Go
Your house doesn’t have to be spotless 100% of the time, and your home will survive if you skip one day of doing the dishes. If you are finding yourself truly exhausted at the end of a long day, it’s okay to take a night off every once in awhile. The dishes will still be there in the morning.
Or, if the kids have some extra screen time now and then so you can have a hot cup of coffee or take a real shower, then so be it. Releasing yourself from the grip of your own expectations will allow you to not only make time for yourself, but to actually enjoy it.
Learn How to Declutter Your Day
If you're struggling to make time for yourself, then you may find that you are spending your time being busy instead of being productive. Let me help you declutter your day to be more productive and less busy so that you can make time for you.
Click here for my simple, 3 step process for figuring out how to declutter your schedule. It includes a FREE printable workbook to help you along the way! Check it out now.